Saturday, April 18, 2015

Internet Junkyard #34


Punography

·;  I tried to catch some fog.  I mist. 
·;  When chemists die, they barium. 
·;  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 
·;  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
   now a seasoned veteran. 

·;  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time. 
·;  How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it. 
·;  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me. 
·;  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,  but I'd never met herbivore. 
·;  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down. 
·;  I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words . 
·;  They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O. 
·;  This dyslexic man walks into a bra . 
·;  I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 
·;  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. 
·;  What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds..  
·;  I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! 
·;  Broken pencils are pointless. 
·;  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus. 
·;  England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . 
·;  I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. 
·;  I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. 
·;  All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
   Police say they have nothing to go on. 

·;  I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. 
·;  Velcro - what a rip off! 
·;  Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.
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