Friday, February 21, 2014

Internet Junkyard #25

Shampoo alert!

As I was conditioning my hair in the shower this morning, I took time to read my shampoo bottle.  I am in shock!  The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my entire body says "for extra volume and body"!  Seriously, why have I not noticed this before?  Now I understand why I am so "full-figured"!

Tomorrow I am going to start using "Dawn" dish soap.  It says right on the label "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

It pays to read the warning labels my friends!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014


I was going to post another Internet Junkyard, but I felt you guys deserve more.

The past 2 weeks I have been dealing with, 1. migraine from hell, 2. drugs not working, 3. infusions, and 4. overall exhaustion from infusions. Seriously, I don't even want to roll over in bed.

In case you don't speak migrainees, infusions are typically 3 consecutive days put aside for drugs to be pumped threw you over the course of about 2-3 hours. You are sick, more-so than with the migraine. BUT after the 3 days and a week of recovery, you're migraine is either a. GONE or b. not as bad.

I"m option b.

I have a pile of books from the library, but only able to finish one... then pain. All I can say is yes, the infusions helped, but other than that, fuck you migraine, fuck you.

Saturday, February 08, 2014

Internet Junkyard #24

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..
How soon can I go home?'

Happy Mental Health Day!

You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend...