Devastation

Ladies and Gentlemen.

I need help!

All my family photos (converted to digital copies, cuz what could go wrong?) have been permanently deleted because of my stupid computer wiping the whole thing! I ask that you help me, by sending photos of you and your family, and any of Neil and me. There gos all my beautiful family pictures from both reunions, the kids being born and their first cake. All the summer pool pictures that weren't loaded to facebook. So many cute photos of all my family (not just my mom's side) and they're all gone. Neil has been so supportive and is trying to get my computer running again, but there will be no pictures.

Oddly enough, I'm not upset about loosing my novel (I've been working on for YEARS).

But those photos. I'm truly heartbroken by this, and on our anniversary/christmas/Jen's birthday/UB's brithday/Tzviah's brithday. Amongst everything that's going on right now, I have to loose all these photos.

Please help me.

X-Mas Gifts

Next year for xmas I'm thinking of a rather large, year long project(s).

The girls (Lauren & Megan) like my "scrapbooks". I use the term loosely, because I have a unique way of doing it. This will mean I need to print a lot of pictures of them growing up, their favorite anime, and etc. I'll need a bunch of odd "junk" to glue to their covers. I usually just use things like broken earrings or buttons or various other odds and ends I can find.

This of course, leaves out Jayme... what in the world do I get him? Can I do the same thing for him? He is more of a video game person... maybe I can print pictures of him growing up and various pictures of his favorite video games?

THIS year, their gifts were picked out by Neil and myself! SO happy with them, I think they will love them. If they don't I'm going to strangle them myself.

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I've been trying to read, kinda a "gatch-up" thing for my New Years Resolution. I don't think I'll make it, but I"ll keep trying!!!

Lazy?

We all know I"m VERY lazy. I didn't really used to be like this, but as the years passed by after the car accident, I've become lazy with a capital Z.

We are all moved into our new place. Paul, Neil, Samuri, and I are all comfy. Sure we haven't completely unpacked, but like 90% of it is.

Aside from that, nothing has changed much since the last personal post. I haven't been reading much, tho I finally finished one of them! So happy about that. Personal victories!!!

Sam is coming out of his shell more and more. Paul pets him, and Sam is soooo loved.

Been making cookies! Eggnog and pumpkin chocolate chip. ;) I treat my boys right.

Internet Junkyard #22

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Pocket  Tazer Stun Gun, a great Gift for the  wife. 

A  guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted  this:
 

Last  weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was  looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was  a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? 

WAY  TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. 

AWESOME!!! 

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what the burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. 

Am I  wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that:  a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and three-second burst would purportedly make your asailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the  batteries. 

All the  while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumferences (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... 

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! 

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living  room.

Note:If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with  a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! 

A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was  a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on  the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh &  My face felt like it had been  shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I had crapped in my  shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Halloween

Today is a wonderful holiday. And it's going to be gone in a few short hours. The kids are getting ready, and for the first time in years, our house isn't decorated in any way for the event. I haven't felt like it, and mom hasn't either. It's a bit confusing. :p

Oh, did I mention I dyed my hair??

It looks a ton more blue than what it actually is. it's been almost two weeks and it's still this vibrant. I'm so happy with it, but I don't know if I'll do it again.

I've gotten hardly any reading done with my one book "Born of Night" by Sherrilyn Kenyon. It's good, I want to read more, but my head gets in the way. I did get to page 53 tho! It's taken a month to do it. I'm thinking of just returning it to the library and purchasing the book for my kindle. Should probably go and find out how much it is first....

Sam's been a lovey dovey cuddle bug lately. Mainly to Neil, but what can you do? I give him loves all the time tho. Kids are too loud for him and he gets scared, but we're adjusting. Don't know when we'll be able to get our own place. It seems like everyone doesn't want us. It's frustrating!

Happy Halloween to everyone. Embarrass the geek-outs!

Update....

At the end of September we had to move in with my parents... the small room. But it's temporary so I shouldn't complain. It's just difficult to put a little in the room and the rest in storage. It's really frustrating.

My primary doctor and I are trying something different. No pain meds at all. No ibuprofen or hydrocodone, or shots. It's been very difficult. Thank goodness I have people cheering me on or I wouldn't be able to handle this. There are moments when I just want to give up. Then there are moments where I think I can take it.

My NYRP isn't going well. Unable to read so much. *sigh* sorry this is so blah. But it's an update. I do love you guys tho!

Botox Fails

Migraines.

Migraines. Period.

I've been dealing with migraines and all the aftermath of them. Haven't been reading. I'm WAY behind on my New Years Resolution. Fuck you migraines.

Tho I have to admit, this doctor visit was productive. We got a new plan in place and I made a promise to do better. That means exercise every day, I think that's reasonable. There are a few other things, but I wont bore you with them. I can honestly say that I'm going to do it. Silly as it sounds it's a going to work a lot better than what I have.

Botox doesn't seem to be working right now, which fucking sucks so badly.

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We maybe moving in with my parents. Like 90% sure it's them, the other 10% is finding somewhere else to live. Wish us luck. Which reminds me, had a great dinner with Paul, Ivy, and their newborn. They paid, I will have them out to dinner and pay for them sometime. It was great talking with them.

Books

Thanks to Goodreads.com I have put all the books I own on there. Mainly to keep track of what books I have so I can read them... and mark the ones I have read. I haven't done ALL my mangas yet tho.

Thank god for the iPad that can scan everything! Downfall? It sounds like the smoke alarm beeping when you scan a book's bar-code. By god I love the iPad! I realized that I have a lot of books I want to read but just keep putting off because I get new ones from the library, so I've decided I'm not going to order any books from the library (unless they are bookclub books) so I can read the ones I have.

I was also thinking of selling some of the books I do have but don't read anymore... They're good quality, but still, I feel like I'm abandoning my books. I'm still just in the thinking stages tho.

Break Down

*sigh* it's rather difficult to explain so bare with me.

I was in bed and I kinda just checked out mentally for a bit. It was like I was 10 years old again and had no idea where I was or who this strange man in bed was with me. Neil took me into the ER right away because I was historical and inconsolable.

Over the period of time my mother and Neil helped me remember some of it, but it was eventually me calming down and letting my mind come back on it's own that did it, within 24 hours I was back.

 

The doctors put me in the looney bin because they didn't know how long it would last or what caused it or a lot of things. I was suppose to stay there until Wed but I got out early.

 

It has happened several times before to me, where I needed help medically. I only remembered one incident, but there was two. Plus I have lucid (is that the right word?) moments were I loose hours. I don't remember them but my family and friends do. I need to start keeping record of all those times the best I can (I think I lost a couple of hours today).

 

They think this episode was caused by a mixture of medicationS and the fact this has happened before. It will happen again, it's just a matter of time.

 

Plus the stress, I forgot to mention stress.

 

Medications, stress, history. It was great I had people calling me and talking me threw it and being patient with me and being calm.

 

There was a lot of stress coming down and I wasn't talking to friends about it or dealing with it properly, nor was the medications helping.

 

I wasn't feeling like I could talk to Neil about some things nor my family.

 

Plus I'm super negative about myself and it doesn't help that my family tends to be too. 

 

They did rediagnose me (is that a real word?) as something else. I'm bipolar AND schizophrenic, but a high functioning form. 

 

So That's kinda what's been happening with me. I finished Lies Beneath while I was in the looney bin. It's good enough that I want to read the second one, mainly because they left it as a cliff hanger.